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Why Do I Start Sessions With “Where Are We Starting Today?”

Therapist and client talking during a casual therapy session on a couch
Home » Why Do I Start Sessions With “Where Are We Starting Today?”

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

Key Takeaways

  • The question, ‘Where are we starting today?’ empowers clients by giving them control in therapy sessions.
  • It underscores the importance of flexibility, allowing discussions to adapt based on current feelings or events.
  • The question invites clients to express their needs, without creating pressure to have a defined agenda.
  • Therapy is a collaborative journey; the client leads while the therapist supports and guides their path.
  • Ultimately, this approach fosters a safe, respectful space for clients to process and grow.

If you’ve worked with me in therapy, you’ve probably noticed that I often begin sessions with the same question: “Where are we starting today?” It’s not just a casual way to ease into the conversation—it’s an intentional part of how I approach therapy.

This question may seem simple, but it holds a lot of meaning. It’s about your autonomy, the flexibility of our work together, and ensuring you feel a genuine sense of control in your care. Let me share why this question matters so much to me and how it’s designed to support you—not pressure you.

Your Voice, Your Choice

Therapy is about you—your needs, your feelings, and your goals. When I ask, “Where are we starting today?” I’m inviting you to take the lead. You know yourself best, and this question is my way of honoring that.

Sometimes you might come into the session with a clear focus:

Maybe there’s a conflict at work that’s been weighing on you.

Perhaps anxiety has been particularly loud this week.

Or maybe you want to process something that came up in our last session.

Whatever it is, this question gives you space to name it. It’s a way of saying, “This is your time. Let’s focus on what matters most to you right now.”

Flexibility in Therapy

Life isn’t linear, and neither is therapy. What felt urgent last week might not feel relevant today. What you thought you’d want to discuss might shift the moment you sit down.

By asking, “Where are we starting today?” I’m acknowledging the ever-changing nature of life and emotions. Therapy doesn’t have to stick to a rigid plan—it can (and should) adapt to meet you where you are.

This flexibility is especially important because growth doesn’t happen on a set schedule. One week, you might want to dive deep into processing trauma. The next, you might need to focus on practical strategies for managing anxiety in your daily life. Both are equally valid, and this question allows us to pivot based on your current needs.

No Pressure, Just Permission

I want to be clear: This question isn’t meant to create a sense of pressure. You don’t have to come into every session with a perfectly outlined agenda or even a clear idea of what you want to talk about.

If you’re not sure where to start, that’s okay. We can explore that uncertainty together. Sometimes, not knowing is the best starting point, and we can gently uncover what’s most important in the moment.

The goal isn’t to put you on the spot—it’s to remind you that you have a voice in this process. Therapy is a collaborative space, and this question is an invitation, not a demand.

Empowering You in Your Care

Therapy is a partnership, and I believe you should have a say in how it unfolds. By asking, “Where are we starting today?” I hope to empower you to take ownership of your care.

This question is part of creating a space where you feel:

  • Safe to express yourself without judgment.
  • Heard in a way that validates your experiences and emotions.
  • In control of your healing journey.

You’re not just a participant in therapy—you’re the driver. My role is to support, guide, and sometimes challenge you, but the path we take is one we choose together.

A Collaborative Journey

At its core, this question reflects my belief that therapy works best when it’s collaborative. I don’t see myself as the expert on your life—you are. My role is to help you navigate, reflect, and grow, but the direction we take comes from you.

So, when you hear me ask, “Where are we starting today?” know that it’s not just a question. It’s a reminder that this space belongs to you, and you have the power to shape it in a way that feels meaningful and supportive.

Let’s take this journey together—at your pace, with your priorities, and always with your voice leading the way. If it sounds like we might be a good fit and you’d like to schedule an appointment with me, feel free to reach out to us at www.brightspottherapy.com or call us at 248.296.3104.

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A Gentle Reminder

This post is here to offer understanding and information—not answers about what you personally should do. Mental health care is not one-size-fits-all, and decisions about therapy or medication are best made with a licensed provider who knows your story.

About the Clinical Team

Written by the Madison Marcus-Paddison, LMSW at Bright Spot Counseling and EMDR Treatment Center, a Michigan-based practice focused on trauma-informed therapy and thoughtful medication support.

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