Estimated reading time: 5 minutes
Key Takeaways
- Distanced self-talk, a technique in anxiety therapy, involves referring to oneself in the third person to create psychological distance.
- This practice can improve emotional regulation, decision-making, and reduce rumination patterns.
- Research shows that distanced self-talk helps individuals gain perspective and reduce emotional intensity in anxious situations.
- While effective, distanced self-talk might not be enough alone; therapy often combines it with methods like CBT or ACT.
- Bright Spot Counseling offers anxiety therapy in Michigan, focusing on practical, research-informed approaches for various anxiety issues.
If you’ve ever caught yourself talking to yourself, let’s start here:
You’re not crazy. In fact, using distanced self-talk is a proven strategy for managing your thoughts and emotions.
You’re actually engaging in a normal — and potentially powerful — cognitive process.
In anxiety therapy in Michigan, one of the simplest tools we sometimes introduce is called distanced self-talk. It’s subtle. It’s evidence-based. And when used intentionally, it can improve emotional regulation, decision-making, and rumination patterns.
What Is Distanced Self-Talk?
Distanced self-talk is the practice of referring to yourself in the third person (using your name or “you”) instead of using first-person pronouns like “I” or “me.”
Most of us naturally think in first person:
- “Why am I so anxious?”
- “I can’t stop thinking about this.”
- “I really want to avoid that conversation.”
Distanced self-talk shifts that internal language:
- “Why is Ann feeling anxious?”
- “What is Ann thinking about right now?”
- “What should Ann do next?”
That small shift creates psychological distance — and that distance changes how your brain processes emotion.
Why Does This Help with Anxiety?
Anxiety narrows perspective. When we’re anxious, we tend to think in absolutes and over-identify with our emotional state.
Distanced self-talk introduces space.
Research published in Clinical Psychological Science (2020) found that using third-person language improved self-control in decision-making tasks. Similarly, a study in Perspectives on Psychological Science (2017) found that distanced self-talk increases “wise reasoning” — the ability to consider multiple perspectives and regulate emotional responses.
In practical terms, this means:
Instead of:
“I’m spiraling.”
You might ask:
“What is Ann reacting to right now?”
That subtle shift can:
- Reduce emotional intensity
- Improve cognitive flexibility
- Shorten rumination cycles
- Increase access to problem-solving
In anxiety therapy, that space is often what allows regulation to happen.
Distanced Self-Talk for Rumination
If you struggle with overthinking, looping thoughts, or replaying conversations, this technique is especially useful.
Instead of:
“Why can’t I stop thinking about this?”
Try:
“Why is Ann stuck on this right now?”
Notice how the second version feels slightly more curious and slightly less critical.
Anxiety often thrives on fusion — when thoughts feel like facts. Distanced self-talk gently introduces defusion, which is a core principle in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and other anxiety treatments we use at Bright Spot Counseling.
When Distanced Self-Talk Isn’t Enough
While distanced self-talk is effective, it’s not always sufficient on its own.
If you notice that:
- Your anxiety feels disproportionate to the situation
- You experience chronic rumination
- You feel physically activated even when things are “fine”
- Insight hasn’t translated into relief
then you may be dealing with nervous system dysregulation rather than just cognitive patterns.
In anxiety therapy in Michigan, we often combine tools like distanced self-talk with:
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
- Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
- EMDR
- Brainspotting
- Polyvagal-informed therapy
Because sometimes anxiety isn’t just about what you’re thinking — it’s about how your nervous system learned to respond.
Anxiety Therapy in Michigan at Bright Spot Counseling
At Bright Spot Counseling and EMDR Treatment Center, we work with adults across Michigan who are navigating:
- High-functioning anxiety
- Chronic rumination
- Perfectionism
- Emotional reactivity
- Trauma-related anxiety
We use practical, research-informed approaches to help clients move from constant mental activation to steadier regulation.
Distanced self-talk is one small example of how subtle shifts can create meaningful change.
If you’re ready to move beyond coping and toward resolution, you can schedule a consultation with Bright Spot Counseling today.
You don’t have to keep managing anxiety alone.
Anxiety Therapy in Michigan: Frequently Asked Questions
What is anxiety therapy?
Anxiety therapy is structured, evidence-based treatment designed to reduce excessive worry, rumination, physical tension, and emotional reactivity. It often includes approaches such as CBT, ACT, EMDR, and nervous system-focused interventions.
How does distanced self-talk help anxiety?
Distanced self-talk reduces emotional intensity by creating psychological space between you and your thoughts. This improves self-regulation, reduces rumination, and increases access to balanced reasoning.
Is anxiety therapy effective for high-functioning adults?
Yes. Many high-functioning adults experience chronic anxiety despite outward success. Anxiety therapy helps address both cognitive patterns and underlying nervous system activation.
Do you offer anxiety therapy throughout Michigan?
Yes. Bright Spot Counseling provides anxiety therapy in Michigan through both in-person and telehealth sessions, depending on availability and location.
When should I seek therapy for anxiety?
You may benefit from therapy if anxiety interferes with sleep, relationships, work performance, or your ability to feel calm — even if you are functioning at a high level.
It’s support.
A Gentle Reminder
This post is here to offer understanding and information—not answers about what you personally should do. Mental health care is not one-size-fits-all, and decisions about therapy or medication are best made with a licensed provider who knows your story.
About the Clinical Team
Written by Madison Marcus-Paddison, LMSW at Bright Spot Counseling and EMDR Treatment Center, a Michigan-based practice focused on trauma-informed therapy and thoughtful medication support.
