Understanding Gaslighting – What it IS and what it is NOT

What Is Gaslighting Holding Light Bright Spot Therapy

Gaslighting has been getting a lot of attention lately! You might have heard this term thrown around in discussions about manipulation and abuse. From relationships to work settings and even in broader social contexts, it seems like everyone’s talking about it. This surge in awareness reflects our growing understanding of manipulation tactics and the significance of mental health.

While we might not have exact numbers on how often people are using the term, it’s clear that “gaslighting” has become pretty familiar. You can spot it popping up all over social media, online chats, and even in the news. But just because we’re talking about it more doesn’t necessarily mean it’s happening more. Instead, it shows that we’re getting better at recognizing and tackling these issues. So, if you’re curious to learn more, keep reading!

Gaslighting refers to a form of psychological manipulation in which one person systematically undermines another person’s perception of reality. The term originated from the 1938 play “Gas Light” by Patrick Hamilton, which was later adapted into two films. In the story, the main character’s husband manipulates her by dimming the gaslights in their house and then denying that the lights are flickering when she questions him, causing the main character to question her reality. Gaslighting is destructive and adds to relationship stress, anxiety, depression and trauma.

Red Flags:

Denial: The gaslighter denies the reality of the victim’s experiences, often flatly contradicting their observations or emotions.

Discrediting: The gaslighter undermines the victim’s credibility, making them question their memory, perception, or sanity.

Distorting information: The gaslighter manipulates facts or selectively withholds information to further confuse and control the victim.

Shifting blame: Gaslighters avoid taking responsibility for their actions by shifting blame onto the victim, making them doubt their own judgments.

What Gaslighting Is NOT:

Gaslighting is not a term to be used lightly: Labeling someone as a gaslighter should not be done casually or without careful consideration of the behavior involved. It is a serious accusation that denotes a pattern of manipulative actions, rather than a one-time occurrence of disagreement or misunderstanding.

Gaslighting is not limited to romantic relationships: While gaslighting often occurs in intimate relationships, it can also happen in familial, professional, or even societal settings. It is essential to recognize the diversity of contexts in which gaslighting behaviors can manifest.

Gaslighting is not a one-size-fits-all concept: Gaslighting behaviors can vary in intensity and manifestation. Some instances may be subtle and covert, while others can be overt and more evident. It is crucial to consider the broader patterns of manipulation and control rather than focusing solely on individual incidents.

Gaslighting has emerged as an important term in discussions around psychological manipulation and abuse. Its increased usage signifies our growing awareness of these behaviors and the need to address them. By understanding the definition and recognizing the misconceptions surrounding gaslighting, we can foster healthier relationships, create safer spaces, and promote emotional well-being for all. Remember, the term “gaslighting” should be used responsibly, in situations where there is a clear pattern of manipulation and psychological abuse.

If you feel you are being gaslit and looking for a therapist near you- reach out, we’re here to help! Bright Spot Counseling in Metro Detroit, our therapists are skilled practitioners that have a wealth of knowledge to help you cope and move through these sticky scenarios. We accept Blue Cross Blue Shield, AETNA, Blue Care Network, and Medicare. Call us at 248.296.3104 or check out our therapist bios to see who might be the right fit for you!

Other resources:

https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/wellness/9-subtle-signs-of-gaslighting-that-are-often-easy-to-miss-according-to-psychologists/ar-BB1jApVC

https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/other/16-gaslighting-phrases-that-are-red-flags/ar-AA13YsGe

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