Are you familiar with the common stress responses like “fight,” “flight,” and “freeze”? But have you ever heard of the “fawn” response? In simple terms, “fawning” is the people-pleasing response, and it’s something many individuals wear as a badge of honor. “You know me, always the people-pleaser, can’t say no!” The fawn response is often culturally normalized, making it challenging to recognize, as those around you often benefit from it. People may view it as a strength and asset, praising you for being agreeable, easy-going, or a social chameleon. However, fawning is more complex than it appears.
Fawning is a trauma response that develops during childhood and early adulthood in response to volatile relationships. These are interactions with significant people in your life that are unpredictable, confusing, and filled with conflict, which can feel unbearable. When faced with a distressing situation or mood, the fawn response kicks in, compelling you to immediately console, adapt, or change to preserve the relationship or secure acceptance and approval.
Pete Walker, author of “The 4 F’s: A Trauma Typology in Complex Trauma,” explains that “Fawn types seek safety by merging with the wishes, needs, and demands of others. They act as if they unconsciously believe that the price of admission to any relationship is the forfeiture of all their needs, rights, preferences, and boundaries.”
Now, you might be wondering how this connects to EMDR therapy and how it can help with people-pleasing. Read on to find out why it can really help!
How EMDR Can Help with People-Pleasing:
- Increased Awareness: An EMDR therapist can assist you in becoming more aware of your fawn response and how it influences your life. This heightened awareness is a crucial first step towards change.
- Exploring Guilt and Boundaries: Therapy can help you evaluate situations with a critical eye to determine if guilt is a productive or necessary emotion. It also provides a safe space to analyze and establish personal boundaries.
- Physiological Impact: EMDR therapists can explain how the fawn response triggers physiological changes in your system, such as constantly feeling on edge. Understanding these physical reactions is vital to managing them.
- Building Self-Reliance: Through EMDR therapy, you can acquire techniques and strategies to increase self-reliance and self-soothing abilities, reducing your dependence on others’ acceptance for comfort.
Imagine a life where you feel more authentic, seen, energized, and less resentful. It’s possible, and reaching out to an EMDR therapist in Metro Detroit can be the first step toward this transformation. Instead of constantly tending to the needs of others at your own expense, you can start caring for yourself.
Don’t hesitate to take that step towards healing and change. Reach out to an EMDR therapist in Michigan today, and let’s embark on this journey together! Schedule a consultation online or give us a call at 248.296.3104.
