Why am I stuck in life???
Estimated reading time: 6 minutes
Key Takeaways
- Many people feel stuck in life after the pandemic, often due to avoidance and uncertainty.
- Avoidance can temporarily reduce anxiety but ultimately leads to increased feelings of being overwhelmed and stuck.
- To get out of ‘on hold’ mode, acknowledge what you’re avoiding and shift your perspective on timing.
- Taking small, manageable steps and focusing on what truly matters can help re-engage with your life.
- If you’re struggling to move forward, consider seeking support from a therapist at Bright Spot Counseling.
There was a time—not that long ago—when you probably had a plan.
Maybe you were:
- Learning something new
- Working toward a promotion
- Planning a trip
- Thinking about a big life change
And then…everything shifted.
Even though we’re technically “past” the pandemic phase, the ripple effects are still very real. Work looks different. Motivation looks different. Energy definitely looks different.
And if you take a second to look at where you are now compared to where you thought you’d be?
There’s a good chance you feel…behind.
Or stuck.
Or like life has been sitting in this weird “pause” mode longer than you expected.
Let’s Name What’s Actually Happening: You Feel Stuck In Life
Most people don’t consciously decide:
I’m going to put my life on hold.
It usually sounds more like:
- “Now isn’t the right time.”
- “I’ll get to that when things settle down.”
- “I just need to feel more ready.”
And to be fair—sometimes those are valid.
But over time, that thinking can quietly turn into something else:
Avoidance.
The Problem: Avoidance Feels Good (Until It Doesn’t)
Avoidance is one of the most common—and most misunderstood—coping strategies.
Because in the moment, it works.
You avoid the thing → your anxiety goes down → your brain says:
Great, let’s do that again.
But here’s the catch:
The more you avoid:
- The bigger the thing feels
- The harder it becomes to start
- The more your confidence takes a hit
Research consistently shows that avoiding thoughts and emotions doesn’t make them go away—it actually makes them stronger and more persistent.
So that “not now” turns into:
- Not yet
- Not this year
- Maybe someday
And suddenly, you’re not just pausing.
You’re stuck.
This Is Where Anxiety, Depression, and Burnout Show Up
When your life feels on hold for too long, it starts to impact your mental health.
You might notice:
Anxiety
- Overthinking next steps
- Feeling overwhelmed by decisions
- Constant “what if” loops
Depression
- Low motivation
- Feeling disconnected from your goals
- A sense of stagnation or numbness
Burnout
- Mental exhaustion
- Difficulty starting even small tasks
- Feeling like everything requires too much energy
This isn’t laziness.
It’s your system getting overwhelmed and defaulting to avoidance.
The Sneaky Trap: “The Timing Isn’t Right”
Sometimes, the timing genuinely isn’t right.
But sometimes?
That phrase becomes a protective shield.
Because if the timing isn’t right, you don’t have to:
- Risk failing
- Feel uncomfortable
- Face uncertainty
The problem is—perfect timing doesn’t exist.
And waiting for it often keeps you in the exact place you’re trying to move out of.
How to Get Your Life Out of “On Hold” Mode
This isn’t about pushing yourself into productivity.
It’s about re-engaging with your life in a way that actually works with your nervous system—not against it.
1. Acknowledge What You’ve Been Avoiding
Not to judge it. Just to notice it.
Ask yourself:
- What have I been putting off?
- What feels heavy or unclear right now?
- What am I telling myself about why I can’t start?
Avoidance thrives in vagueness.
Clarity weakens it.
2. Stop Trying to Feel “Ready”
This is a big one.
Most people wait to feel:
- Motivated
- Confident
- Clear
Before they start.
But those feelings usually come after action—not before.
So instead of:
“I’ll start when I feel ready”
Try:
“I’ll start small, even if I don’t feel ready”
3. Reshape—Don’t Cancel
Just because something can’t happen the way you planned doesn’t mean it’s gone.
It just means it needs to shift.
Examples:
- Can’t go to the gym? Move your body at home or outside
- Can’t travel? Plan a future trip or explore locally
- Feeling disconnected? Create smaller, more manageable ways to connect
Rigid thinking leads to avoidance.
Flexible thinking leads to movement.
4. Lower the Bar (Seriously)
You don’t need to:
- Fully commit
- Go all in
- Have a perfect plan
You need to start.
That might look like:
- 10 minutes of research
- One email
- One small step toward the bigger goal
Momentum builds from action—not pressure.
5. Choose Meaning Over Numbing
When things feel hard, it’s easy to default to:
- Endless scrolling
- Binge-watching
- Avoidance disguised as “rest”
And listen—rest is important.
But there’s a difference between:
resting and checking out.
Activities that support your mental health tend to:
- Feel meaningful
- Align with your values
- Leave you feeling slightly more like yourself
Not necessarily energized—but not more disconnected.
6. Get Honest About What Actually Matters to You
This is where things shift.
Ask yourself:
- What do I actually care about right now?
- What feels meaningful—not just productive?
- What would feel like progress to me?
Because not everything you paused needs to be picked back up.
Some things can stay paused.
Some things can be let go.
But that choice should come from you—not from avoidance.
When You Might Need More Support
If you’re feeling:
- Stuck despite knowing what to do
- Overwhelmed by even small steps
- Disconnected from your goals or sense of self
- Caught in cycles of avoidance and anxiety
…it might be time for extra support.
At Bright Spot Counseling and EMDR Treatment Center, we help people:
- Work through avoidance patterns
- Reduce anxiety and overthinking
- Rebuild motivation and direction
- Move forward without burning out
Because this isn’t about “getting your life together.”
It’s about getting back into your life—at a pace that actually works.
The Bottom Line
You didn’t fall behind.
You adapted.
And now you’re in a position where you can choose what comes next.
Not perfectly.
Not all at once.
But intentionally.
You don’t need to have everything figured out.
You just need to stop waiting for the perfect moment to begin.
A Gentle Reminder
This post is here to offer understanding—not to replace individualized care. If anxiety, depression, or avoidance are impacting your daily life, working with a licensed therapist can help you move forward in a way that fits you.
About the Clinical Team
Written by Rachel Freedland at Bright Spot Counseling and EMDR Treatment Center, a Michigan-based practice specializing in anxiety, trauma-informed therapy, and life transitions.
